THE HEAT
A fragment of an episode
Copyright 1999, Kathy Mueller and Simon Britton
Sc. 1 CAFE DAY
A woman walks into cafe sweating it as she signals to the waiter for her "usual". The woman opens the sagging paper to the headlines: SCORCHER CONTINUES... and then turns to the odd spot / column eight section.
She reads aloud to the waiter as he brings over her drink.
"Which socialite/wannabe singer was found dead to the world by cleaners in a well-known recording studio? Our sources tell us that aggravation between the "star", the producer and the lecherous studio owner caused tempers in the studio to rise to boiling point. An apparently accidental overnight lock-in followed...
Special Visual Effect Dissolve from her musing face to the next scene.
Sc. 2 RECORDING STUDIO EVENING
TREVOR, the producer at Crash Studios is sweating as he rides the faders for a vocal overdub. Through the glass we see SHELLEY, the singer. Paul, the studio owner is in the studio, giving her encouragement.
Trevor frowns, hits the talk button
TREVOR
Okay, better...pick it up from the turn-around, thanks
(off mike) take 458....
The phone rings and he juggles answering the phone with riding the faders
TREVOR
Crash Studios, Trevor speaking
Trevor reacts to the voice on the other end of the phone...
DORIS
It's ten o'clock.... (As in why haven't you rung?)
Trevor signals to the singer, SHELLEY, a tall and lithe blond, to start again. He frowns as Shelley pulls a face to PAUL, obviously not happy at Trevor's insistence that she start again.
TREVOR
Yeah babe.....still hard at it.....
DORIS
Who's there?
TREVOR
Paul's latest root .....Talk about wannabe....she's the best yet.
DORIS
It's hot........I can't sleep.....
Paul enters the booth and looks askance at Trevor
TREVOR
Yeah I know, babe..... I'll be home soon as I can....gotta go....
DORIS
Ring me when you break....
Trevor nods and hangs up as Paul loosens his shirt to mop down his sweat drenched face.
PAUL
Ease off the pressure mate, or I'll, we'll loose her
TREVOR
Hey, do we wanna finish sometime this century or do we wanna suck up to your latest root.
PAUL
Mate.... She's paying heaps, right? And daddy is loaded. There could be a whole CD in this, plus music video, posters, parties... think about it.... And so what if I get a bonus...
Trevor unbuttons his shirt and mops down his face, neck and ears, exposing his hairy chest and bulging belly.
TREVOR
I'm the one working my butt off to make money for this goddamn company! Can't you get us some real talent to work with! Just once?
PAUL
Keep your shirt on..... I've got to meet some people at the Cat.. mobile if you need me...
Paul leaves with a sucky smile and wave to Shelley. Trevor, the eternally patient one, decides to humour Shelley despite the fact that he is fuming inside.
TREVOR
Okay, Gorgeous, this one's for you! Straight through.....no interruptions from your lovable producer!
As the count-in starts, Trevor's eyes glaze over.
Special Visual Effect .....as Trevor relives the last two minutes.... his insecurities and anxieties growing as the heat accelerates to distorted thinking.
Sc. 3 Recording Studio (fantasy) Evening
TREVOR, is dripping with sweat as he rides the faders to deal with the unevenness in the singer's voice. His sweat is dripping all over his sound gear.
The phone rings (sounding like a police siren) and with a startled look of guilt he answers the phone dropping everything to stand at attention.
TREVOR
I know it's you Doris!
We see Doris as Trevor sees Doris: almost vampire-like in her make-up and her demeanor.
DORIS
Well if you know it's me then why haven't you rung? You know I don't trust you!
TREVOR
You said you'd leave unless I made a lot of money.....well I'm working on it, alright?! .... That's what I'm doing right no....I'm hard at it.....
DORIS
Are you trying to make me jealous or are you really having an affair?
TREVOR
I'm not the one having the affairs..... Paul's the one having the affairs, a different one every week, they come in, I record them, I tell a joke, and I throw them out. He's the Big Recording Studio Owner..... I am not having the affairs......I wish!
DORIS
(crying bitter tears) You better not be....or I'll fucking kill you, ya bastard!
TREVOR
The only reason you want to kill me is that I COULD have lots of affairs!
Lots of affairs, cuz women find me funny, I make'em laugh! I make'em feel good about themselves, but all you do is complain because I'm fat, and hairy and balding!
Trevor hangs up the phone, almost apoplectic with rage, as Paul enters from the recording booth looking extremely handsome and cool. He's ripped - his shirt is open to reveal a muscle-bound, waxed body. Shelley gazes at him through the window.
PAUL
You're an arsehole, Trevor. A FAT, HAIRY BALDING ARSEHOLE.
TREVOR
Just let me do my job, alright?
PAUL
Just because I'm a tall, ripped....I'm the man ...total dude.... doesn't mean you have to be jealous though..
Trevor unbuttons his shirt and wipes down his face, neck and ears, exposing his hairy chest and bulging belly.
TREVOR
Jealous? you couldn't keep a woman if your life depended on it! I'm the one whose married to a woman who is besotted with me, who cant live without me..... and she's tall.... just cuz I'm a pygmy doesn't mean I'm not attractive to tall women...
Paul smirks and looks in disgust at Trevor.
PAUL
Keep your shirt on.....yeah that would do us all a favour...I'll be down at Cat if you need me...
Trevor shouts after him..... his rage mounting to serious derangement
TREVOR
I'll take my shirt off if I want to!!!
Special Visual Effect as we cut back to real time.......
Sc. 4. Recording Studio Evening
As Shelley's latest take is finishing Trevor is ripping off his shirt with great defiance, flouncing his belly and hairy chest, alternating between Tarzan yells and belly dancing gyrations.
There is a knock at the door and skinny pimply youth enters with the take-away food. He stares at the demonic half-naked Trevor and checks his docket to make sure he has the right place. Trevor stops, half self-conscious, half self-righteous.
TREVOR
Whatsa matter? never seen a naked....hairy... overweight dwarf?
The air-conditioner's broken down... alright?
COURIER
Two Pizzas with the lot, extra anchovies... garlic bread, extra garlic?
TREVOR
Where's Tina?
Trevor goes for his wallet. The stink of his body reaches the nostrils of the courier.
COURIER
Dunno.... I just started tonight....uhm, I'll wait outside..
Jumpcut: two minutes later
Shelley comes out of the recording booth into the recording studio and throws a strained look to Trevor who is gathering forks and plates for the meal.
SHELLEY
You didn't say anything about that last take.
TREVOR
Yeah, Errr.. look it was fine...we should eat...
Shelley opens the box to discover a cockroach. She drops the box
SHELLEY
OH MY GOD.....
Trevor catches the container and tries to make light of it
TREVOR
Hey..... he's trying to avoid the heat too! Whatsa matter little
fella, the air-conditioning broke down at your place too?
Shelley tips the pizza into Trevor's lap and stands
SHELLEY
You're disgusting. Let's get this over with
She goes back into the studio and waits while Trevor eats the take-away, licking his finger with gusto....until the phone rings. He stops, looks at the phone, looks and Shelley, and pulls the phone from its socket. He hits the talk button
TREVOR
Just Ma Cockroach, wanting to know where her son was.
Shelly doesn't find this funny, so Trevor just shrugs and sheepishly admits the obvious.
TREVOR
It's my wife..... she thinks I'm having an affair
SHELLEY
Paul tells me your wife is a social worker
TREVOR
(Off mike) Psycho worker.
Sometimes.....you know what they say about social workers.....(no response from Shelley)
(off Mike) This is a tough room
The legendary Paul tells me you're really keen on him
SHELLEY
Paul's full of shit
Jump Cut to:
One hour later....montage
The session continues. The heat gets worse a long hot sweat, Shelley sings ,Trevor stops her - she's off-key.
We hear the sound from both sides of the window - she's actually in tune, Trevor is hearing her off key...
She complains that he's ruining her song, he complains that she's warping his gear...
everything warps as Trevor starts to re-think the implications of not having answered the phone call which he knew was his wife.
He goes through a range of scenarios in his head:
The police interrogate him on his movements between 10pm and midnight on the night in question
Trevor finds his wife packing her bags
He is accused of having an affair with a cockroach
He is accused of withholding information by not answering the phone
His wife has a stopwatch on as Trevor tries to make the required money deadline
Trevor finds his wife preparing a noose for his neck
Trevor brings the money to his wife but she says he's still too fat
Wife asks for a pound of flesh rather than a pound of money
The climax of conflict with Shelley's ability to sing and the internal imaginings of Trevor's deranged brain culminates in Trevor storming out of the studio and inadvertently locking Shelley in the recording booth and going home..
We see Shelley banging hopelessly on the studio window - we can't hear a thing.....
